Daily Plan Thursday

September 3, 2009

Woke up again with pain. Day 6..7…I’ve lost track.

Called a friend yesterday for advice on a stuck place in my business. Was told that I am letting what I *percieve* as limitations stop me.

I don’t think this pain is a percieved limitations. It seems pretty damn real. It seems pretty damn limiting.

Still, I am trying to think of how I can return to teaching — something I quit because I could no longer trust my body to be well enough to show up when I was scheduled. I’m trying to get around that limitation.

But mostly I am angry. Angry at the illness. Angry that people can’t see how much it effects me. (I can count on on hand the number of people who truly “get” it. Lynette, you’re number one, love.)  Angry at how alone that make me feel.

Angry that I don’t get more credit for all the herculean effort it takes to do the things I do in just one day with pain: feed my children, exercise regardless of my condition, be emotionally present to my family, my readers, my friends. Does anyone see this? Does any care? This doesn’t flow, it doesn’t come easy. It’s a hike through the desert, every single step of it.

Today’s Plan: Move on Anyway. In spite of. In the Face of Pain. Yoga (45 min). Eat clean. Write and Podcast the Do Less post. Find new doctor (requries a bike or bus ride). Walk to pick up kids from school for choir practice. Walk to choir practice. Walk home. Make dinner. If the pain in manageable go to my own choir practice (I may have to quit this because I’m usually in too much pain by dinner.) Mourn the fact that my brief daliance with moderately pain free living has passed. I will do all of this — and more — in pain. Despite pain.

What I won’t do because of the pain: learn how to edit my podcasts, learn how to set up an ecourse registration page (can’t concentrate enough or read enough), have sex, truly enjoy anything I do (hurts to much), ride my beautiful bike instead of walking (everything takes so much longer on foot), laugh.

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One Response to “Daily Plan Thursday”

  1. margretha said

    Can I help? Can I help with some dk-en translating? So sorry that this goes on and on. I so get the mars-bar, maybe the kur-delights http://www.helsebasen.dk/product.asp?product=2470
    are an option, no gluten, no sugar, no dairy. I know that gluten-free is less expensive in Sweden. Maybe I could find someone gluten-free in DK for you to share the experience with? Hugs.

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